I am so excited for the second installment of wedding day etiquette! I mean I know none of you are heathens, but weddings aren’t just your average run of the mill get together. And because of that the rules for wedding are a little different than what they are for say someone’s 50th birthday party. I mean a lot of things are definitely self explanatory… clearly don’t kiss the groom ( you would be surprised but it has happened before), But somethings go beyond that and are things that you wouldn’t necessarily think about in a regular situation.
I know last week we talked about the etiquette that a bride should keep in mind and follow. But I want to first give a few tips about selecting your bridal party before we get into the typical bridesmaids expectations, and a few of the ones that are unspoken… but really actually need to be said aloud.
The Glam Squad has dealt with bridal parties of all sizes. We have had some as small as three to up to fifteen. That number definitely is up to you, but in all of my life… the less girls involved, the less drama. Because lets be honest we are gossips, and we love to hear the latest drama no matter what age we are, and the more girls the more talking that there is. So if you have a friend group that tends to be that way I would say keep your bridal party at low number. Gossip over coffee is fun, but on your wedding day? Definitely not the place, so eliminate that option completely. Most importantly your bridesmaids should be the women in your life that build you up and make you feel your absolute best. This is not the time to ask someone to be your bridesmaid because you don’t want to make anyone feel bad, you ask them because getting married without them standing next to you would be something that would break your heart. So before you select your bridal party make sure you take those things into consideration.
But bridesmaids, your job isn’t just to be asked to be a part of the bridal party, it goes way beyond that. And the way you should handle things is very very important. So to ensure that you have the best time at your friends wedding and more importantly the bride has the BEST time of her life here are a few tips!
- You are part of a team, so be a team player! As a bridesmaid you are not running the wedding, and disagreements between bridesmaids are bound to happen. You all have a different relationship with the bride and arguments are bound to happen. But whatever you do, DO NOT let this be a competition of who can be the best bridesmaid. Or even worse… don’t try to one up the bride. This is something that I’ve sadly seen so much at our weddings, I’ve hardly dealt with any bridezilla’s over these 26 years but I have dealt with some monstrous bridesmaids. And my advice to not become one of those monsters, realize it’s not your day, no one is really looking at you, and ultimately you are there for the bride…so be there for her!
- “Gosh the dresses she is making us wear are so ugly” I mean we have thought it, maybe we have sat at another wedding and whispered it to the person sitting next to us, but as a bridesmaid you don’t have that many mandatory duties. You have to be at the rehearsal, stand next to her at the ceremony and wear the dress the bride has asked you to wear. It’s so hard to find something that is flattering on 4 or more people. If I look at my Glam Squad team none of us have the same body, but know that the bride has done her very best to take into account your likes, dislikes, and what looks good and what doesn’t while also trying to find a dress that she thinks is perfect for her wedding day. And just remember, if she is in your bridal party or was…she will have to return the favor or she already has!
- Enjoy a few glasses of champagne, but take a pass on the shots.. having fun is so important! It is a celebration of course, but there is a line between fun and sloppy and you need to know not to cross it! As a bridesmaid you tend to have to mingle with the guests, get people out on the dance floor, and dance with the bride and celebrate her day! You can’t do that if you are slumped over at the table with your face in the mash potatoes (believe me you overhear some horror stories from previous weddings when you are doing a bridal parties hair and makeup!) At the end of the day….just don’t be that girl, the bride will thank you, and you’ll definitely thank yourself later when the photographer sends the photos back and you aren’t a hot mess in all of them!
- But the most important etiquette of all to remember as a bridesmaid…NEVER complain to the bride. Weddings are stressful, on a normal weekend the Glam Squad attends at least five so we know the stress that brides feel pretty well. They are already doing their best to make sure everyone else is happy and enjoying themselves so if you need to vent about another bridesmaid being annoying, or how expensive the dress was do it to some one out side of the bridal party circle, and definitely to someone who doesn’t know the bride. With 1,001 things to worry about, the bride shouldn’t have to add making sure you are constantly happy to that list!
Being a bridesmaid is such an incredible honor! And throughout the process you should never forget that! At the end of the day the bride felt that she couldn’t get married unless you were standing by her side, so be happy and accept that role as graciously as possible! The bride will most definitely thank you in the end and the joy you feel as you stand next to her as she says “I do” is one that is extremely hard to put into words!