I have been to quite a few weddings in my days (over 3,000 if you want to talk numbers) so I think I have every right to say that I am sort of a wedding pro at this point. Which is why we have to talk about something that is oh so very important when it comes to that wedding day….etiquette. And the proper etiquette varies depending on your place in that wedding, the actions of the bride won’t be the same as the bridesmaids, and the bridesmaids have to act in a different way than every other guest. And believe me when I say that some times people don’t always have the best manners, or don’t know how to deal with a day that’s not all about them. And if you are that person, don’t worry, we all have those moments sometimes! But remember to breathe and be happy because someone very important in your life is getting their happily ever after! It’s ok for today to be about them! So with that being said, we are going to start a three week mini series about how to conduct your self during a wedding which will be posted every Wednesday!
With that being said lets tackle the biggest one first brides and bridal etiquette. So sometimes brides can be…well a little much (aka bridezilla) and normally if that is you, you can’t be tamed. So after the wedding and the stress as disappeared thank your family and friends for everything because without their help you probably would have crashed and burned big time. But there are also brides who aren’t firm enough when it comes to wedding day choices and need a little guidance and that’s where I want to help! A big one comes waay before the wedding day and that is who do I tell my engagement about first? I think you should avoid posting on social media before you tell your 1065 facebook friends. And if you have kids from a previous marriage they should definitely be informed of the impending nuptials before anyone else, and then you follow in suit with your parents and etc.!!!
Another question, or moment that is hard to deal with is deciding who can or can’t bring a date to your wedding. Most brides are working on a budget, and if you invited those 1065 facebook friends that you told about your wedding and gave all of them a plus one? You would 2130 guest at your wedding. And I don’t think anyone wants that.. So how do you address that problem? Well the first way is to sit down and think about people’s relationships. If someone is in committed relationship, whether that is married, engaged or a with living with a partner they should have a plus one! But you are not obligated to extend the same courtesy to give single guests and guests in casual relationships a plus one! You want to know everyone who is at your wedding and look at photos and know all of the people that are in the background. Not your single cousins date Tommy who threw up in the planted pot to the side because he was all in when he heard the words “open bar”
Don’t want to have kids at your wedding? That’s completely fine! But how do you deal with the people who ask for an exception? The answer is you don’t, you’ve already made it clear that children should stay at home or with a sitter. You have to remind them of that firmly but kindly and explain that the invitation was specifically for the adults and that you hope they can still make it. And you have to stick to this. NO exceptions, because once you say yes to one you have to say yes to all and that just becomes unfair to not only you put the other parents who couldn’t bring their kids as well!
And I’m going to leave you with one of the most important things of all. DO NOT think that just because you said thank you before or after the ceremony that you don’t have to send thank you cards. Always send them always. But when exactly should you send them? Well most of the time right after the wedding you are whisked away to your honeymoon so it is important to do them when you get back, or as soon as possible. If life somehow gets in the way (which lets be honest it always does) you have a three month time limit to write your thank you notes.. but getting them out as soon as possible reinforces the amount of gratitude you feel for everyone who got to spend that special day with you!
However the most important thing for the bride to ask herself on her wedding day is if she’s having fun. Because this is going to be one of the best days of your life and you want to remember how happy you are. Not that your Aunt Linda sat in the front row with a crying baby that couldn’t be consoled.
I can’t wait to talk about bridesmaids etiquette with you next week… It’s definitely a fun one!
Photographer: Emily Scott @emthegem on instagram